This is how you get the most food at Chipotle without paying extra

First you enter the Chipotle with glee, anticipating every thousand calories of your beautiful burrito making it’s way into your loins, filling you with eternal bliss….

You pump yourself up, naturally…

You then wait in line and glare at everyone in front of you with a burning stare hotter than a thousand suns…HURRY!!!

And when the guy in front of you does this…. <eye-roll>

Then you basically order a bowl with two tortillas, two meats, two beans, both kinds of rice and every other offering and roll your own burrito right there at the table at maniacally laughing everyone else who paid the same price for less food. Like so…

Someone actually bought 35 burritos and weighed the innards all scientific like…

See the entire scientifically sound and delicious experiment here.

You watch every spoon. every ladle, every scoop and you fume if one piece of chicken tumbles back into the pan…

And then you think, “I am a legend” and you remember that guacamole is a necessity not a luxury and you say loudly and proudly…

And you don’t have to wait long until this happens…

or this…

OMG yes…

You two are finally alone, you gently unwrap the thin delicate shimmering foil as if you were entering the gates of heaven…

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And then you take that second bite of deliciousness which satisfies you and fills a void deep down in your soul…

But who are we kidding?  Everyone knows euphoria doesn’t set in until the third bite and then you are all like…

You’re about to take that fourth bite and this chick comes up saying she needs help because Timmy fell in a well and you’re all like naw…

And then you’re all like…

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After realizing how much money you saved you’re all like…

burrito dance

The End.

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